My Kingdom

Im not a girl not yet a woman ,,, im still in between ,, i still cant be the girl nor the woman ,, im still searching your visage in my dark space .. My darkness is not a fate but its a choice ... Hmm ,,, Yeaht I still imperison in my darkness searching for that spot light which can take me out of all that .. Im still searching for my myth love which i ever dream to have ,,, im still searching for my myth love which i ever readed it in orintal myths and western novels, that love which i ever write about at my daily booknotes and my sleepy peoms... im still searching for my hero who i ever painted his forehead among my books' lines and i ever gathered every star in my sky to figure out his eyes... Im still dreaming about you to give me a hand to get me out of all that disorder... Im waiting yet for love which gonna arrange my themes and my unclear visions of love.... Hmmm,,, Im in middle yet i can't be what im nor what i must to be .. My wings still weak i still cant fly nor land on a spot .. My speace still unclear and all doors are blocked in my ways... I still waiting for super power for survice or for rest at the other world .. I lost my keys in ocean of visions .. I lost my wings i cant fly anymore .. I still forword at to be send to give me a hand in builing my special world and to color my dark kingdom... I still that stupid girl who believe in love as i figured it out in my small innocene mind... I was mistaked when i thought that child is matured inside me,, i was mistaked when i thought i've got ride of that fresh child inside me.. Im still childish,, im in between im not a girl not yet a woman . Yeah im in middle... I still search for some thing to make my space beautiful.. I still waiting for you to enter my windows to break up my chains. Im what i was, i still sink in blood sea waiting for life boat... Hmmm,,, Yeah i need you to make my world .. I need for that magic of love.......

Oh, Yes For Love

As childs run on green fields ,,, we run and run so fast ,,, both of us collected a bunch of colorful flowers to beauty our necks with necklace we made to both of us ..... I'v put my small hand in yours one to run with you and run so fast ,,, till our breathes cut and droped our bodies on grass to get rest ,,, hiding under a tree's shadow in middle the forest ,,, sun falling its ray on tree above us ,,, Brids resting on trees and bushes ,,, sun rising on green fields ,,, blue and pure sky watching the beauty of nature around us ,,, butterflies dancing on flowers ,,, our hearts are dacing in our ribes ,,, pairs of birds, flowers ,,, trees ,,, green grass ,,, beauty nature and weather all are sining , dancing and enjoying on music of our hearts... angels are praying and watching both of us ..... As a couple of childs Roling on wet grass ,,, roling and roling to mature on wet grass and get wet ,,, all of sudden ,,, woke up both of us ,,, our eyes is opened to see ourself not kids ,,, both of us are ready to test new world of love ,,, every part of ours dancing, singing, crying and asking us to get close to touch secrets of love, to test sweetness of life .... Our eyes got up to see we are not kids,, Is that love which mature us or love woke up childhood inside us ,,, we run as kids and we pass towenty six ,,, were us kids and we are twenty six or we were adults and love return us into kids? wake up, wake up, yes wake up , oh yes, wake up ,,, that is love ,, lets never waste it ,,, lets all celeberat for love, love, yes love , Oh yes For LOVE ....

Real Love

Real love survives,,, it gives bright to eyes,,, it gives warm to heart. real love dismiss all scare!,,, dismiss all uncare....
Real love is so nice,,, it gives meaning to life,,, it gives nice to nice... where love is found, there is God to bless ... Where love is born ,there is an angel smile, Love always deal with rose, music and good words.. I love you is so musician word, even lips hugs each other to mention this word... love deals with passions and eyes and control all senses... when words go away,,, language of eyes play,,, every thing shut up and music of heart is paly.. So, do you think that love can die? Nope, love is found to live,,, Real love sack all scare,,, Real love sack all unfair... Real love survives,,, it gives magic colors to life,,, it gives pair of wings for fly... Love can not be buy or sell,, love is free for all, it gives and never ask for pay...
If you try love, you will know about what i already said.

Love At Teen Age!

..... When she was younger. Maria was used to write her daily life's events day by day, but nowdays the rush of life and busy days, she did not get time to do that anymore. while she was searching in her things, she found her daily notebook. she caught it and started paging it and smiling. her sight droped on a note was written in red ink, It was her craziness at a few years late.. Hehe, it was teenger's green vesion and rushness. She had written there i will never stop loving you Aby, name of her and Aby with broken heart , Maria and Aby love forever . What a crazy i was! She though, she conituned thinking, all that is already a past, nowdays, even i can not remeber anything of him nor the colors of his eyes too ! Always we think that after we lost our lover it would be the end of life on this earth! we let this nagative notions imprison ourselves but something in our side call us to keep on life and not give up of live, we crys for days and keep think in that love to realise later that it was just mirage and it was not a true love, it was just a craziness, we laught and we keep laught on that later when we remeber those days, as i already did. Maria was thinking and trying to remeber anything of Aby, and she started wondering, is he married? Has babies? Is he got nice wife or a wife who cut his bearths. Hehe or he still can not forget me, Hehe. Maria, Maria , a sound was calling her, she really like that sound, its john's lovely voice, her sweartheart and her amazing husband. nowdays she is living a happy love life with John and their son luka, nine months old, sometime they agrue but later they laught and luaght.. Mmm, John? Did you prepared luka's milk bottle? you know,today is sunday and we have to attend your friend's marrege party.. oh yeah, how i forget that? John replied..and added so you most get ready to company me this time, okay sweetie ?. Yeah honey, Im so intersting to attend this party, i realy do like to see that couple, i listened that they were in love since they were kids.. Yeah yeah, all friends are wondering how they met again and they in love yet. He replied.. Hehe no matter sweetheart me and you were not know each other just after we met five years ago at market and there started our big love story, do you rember? Maria said to John with cute smile, her eyes were shining when she was looking at John's eyes. John hugged her and added yeah, sure i do remeber and our love will be so for ever. A sound came from next room, this time , it was luka's crying, both of them rushed into him....
Its 9:25 , both of John and Maria were ready to join party. They enjoyed and had fun there, suddenly Maria saw nice couple laughting and having fun on next table. Oh!, she shocked, is that Aby? She wondered. Oh he looked happy with his wife or may be she was his girlfriend. Meeting Aby remind her of her craziness again when she was teenger. Aby now is just a past , its just a man as other men around her, nothing special, John and Luka are everything in her life, she was thinking...
After party is finished. Maria and John reached home at midnight after spending good time at party.They were very tired, John slept deeply while Maria was watching him and smiling, he is her amazing babe, she droped a warm kiss on his check and huggend him and she slept.

Mama

..... Sun gives light and heat,,, moon and stars less the darkness of nights. Right? flowers beauty gardens and fields,,, everyone need a warm hug and a tinder words. Right? Mama, you gives me all that a twice! Mama, you are so nice. can i tell you i like you so much? Mama, im so tired today, i need you to be by my side,,, give me your caring advice... Mama, mama, i need you so much !! I wanna cry between you arms, hug me so tight,,, im so tired, Why tears like my eyes??! why life is so hard ??!
Oh mama, thanks for your warm hug, how a kind you are ! your hug is so warm, i'm okey now, my burden is gone... Please, don't worry mama, im a big girl nowdays, why do you always think of me as a child? When winter sit in at my year! When tears clean my eyes! When i feel so weak, you always who weep my tears, you always who give me power to get up again,, you give to my eyes light,, you guide me to right way,, you give to my life warm... Mama, you know? i always afraid darkness?? It always remind me of my weakness. why when i fall behind sadness's bars, i see tears in your eyes? why you always like to see me smile?
You know mama, something changed my life? someone got in my life? Mama, don't worry anymore, im not a little girl anymore, already im in love with someone seems so nice, may be he will weep my tears, may be he will hug me so tight... Don't worry mama, everything will go all right.. Hush mama now, just hug me so tight, i wish to rest between your arms! I love you so much ...

So, Are You Ready?

.... I wanna a big love, i wanna a man to stand by him forever, baby ... my heart wanna nobody but you only, I wanna you to be my man, is it that crazy?
i wanna spend all my time and the rest of my life side by side with you baby, i wanna be with you only, can i be your girl ? reply me now, baby...
Oh baby, don't mind, don't be fussy, don't ask this and that as a crazy, stop wondering, love is so blind as well as its so crazy. Stop this, stop that, you are in love,come on, baby...
Open your eyes, shut up them, shake your hands up and down, move your lips and scream so crazily " i love you ,,,," , wake up, you are in love with me, come on, baby...
walk miles along the day, take a rest or run as a crazy, you are in love, come on, baby... Wherever you go, wherever you run, hahah, i will be there, as your bodygaurd, baby ...
Whenever you wake up or you fall a sleep, even in your dreams, im there, you won't get free of my love, baby...
Hey hey,, stop laughting like that, i can see tears knock your eyes, I can feel your heart beats so fast just for me only...
Hey hey, don't afraid, don't hesitate, remember, love is for big men not for halves. remeber,that in love, you must be as crazy...
hey hey, stop looking at me like that, your eyes eariler told mines what you could not say it by words, baby... Take ur eyes off of mine, they do not wanna to give up from mine. Oh, come on,,,,, so would you be my man, baby? Hey hey, leave every thing now, and get ready, love is a big war,so, are you ready? I love you so much baby...

Short Story .. Untitled ..

.... On 20th Dec/1990. At winter cold days ... She woke up on an alarm tune. She looked at o'clock, It was 7:05 am. She rose up from her bed hardly, her sight droped on the mirror was in her room, she walked toward it .. She gazed at the mirror , she was with bronze silky face , brown eyes with full lips.. she saw in mirror another woman . It's me? asking herself.. She didnt believe what she saw,,she looks older now . Even she was around 35 years old but her eyes were having same brightness and shine which she ever have.. "Oh God "! she cried in anger while she was looking at the lines under her eyes which are signs of getting old. she wished to back younger again, She tried to pull out these lines, but thats life phases, child, teenger, adult then old, at last kissing the death .. Suddenly she heared a sound comes from neighborhood. She rushed toward the window to see whats going around. She pulled the curtains, sun fall its bright rays through her room's window. She didnt believe what she was seeing.. Her heart started beating so fast and she felt a pain in her stomach. it was same man who she saw three days ago.. She watched him as she was watching a painting , she watched him till he disapeared ..her room's door is opened, "morning mama ".. She greeted her mama.. Darlin huged her daughter and droped a light and soft kiss on her face , she looked at Elina , its already a big girl. Its 9 years old. It was a live copy of her papa. Days passed so fast and soft, she thinked ,seconds of silent passed away, she remembered her husband , He was her 1st and only love .. They were so happy .. She remebered 1st meeting , 1st time they confessed their love , 1st hug , 1st kiss... She remembered the way which her heart was beating when they were meeting and a pain in her stomach, she remembered how much they were happy when she was pregrant in Elina .again her room door is knocked . It was the servant she added "someone is knocking the door , he is asking about you madam".. "Okay , i will be there within 5 mins.". she replied. She went down stairs .. "Oh , its He.. What is he doing here on my door step ? What he is asking for ?", She wondered.. she was about to step fast toward him but she controled herself.. "Morning".. said greating her." Morning".. she replied him." Is that mr. Adam department?" . He asked.. "no and added Mr. Adam is the next door to the left". She replied. "Oh, sorry. I missed adress.. Thanks for helping..he said.. Thats ok, she replied . Im Sam , the new rinter and your new nieghbor so soon. Me darlin , nice to meet you .. Nice to meet he replied with warm smile. Good bye .. Good bye...She watched him till he disapeared at Mr. Adam home.. She got in her home to have breakfast with her daughter. At 7:30 she left home to driving her car as everyday with Elina to drive her at school . She was driving while her past was playing at her mind as a tape of events before her eyes. She remebered the accidant which took her husband away from her and Elina , her tears blust on her checks. She remembered that hard time as its live now.. She didnt meet any man after her late husband . She was wondering whats wating her? Is she in love with the new rinter? She was scaring what its life hiding to her.. Mama we reached school. Elina said with a cute smile. She looked at her daughter. She hugged her so tightly, She kissed her.. She thanked God for giving Elina to her. Elina gave her strong again. She thought that she must be strong. She must never give up and never feel down . She must straggling for Elina, she must do her best . Car is stoped near school's door. Elina got out the car ,, Bye mama .. Bye darling , Love you ... Darlin drived in her way to her office ... She was ready to face what are waiting her ! She did't know what life hiding to her but she was sure that she will do impossible for Elina. She stoped her car ,then, she walked to her office with her usual smile ...